


Violent Confessions

by cadkitten, SakuraAme



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Anger, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 03:26:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraAme/pseuds/SakuraAme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Technical difficulties piss Kaoru and Die off and the two get into an argument, Kaoru finding out more than he'd bargained for in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Violent Confessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gongfufortwo](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=gongfufortwo).



> for all she did to help us these past few weeks.  
> Beta Readers: cadkitten and sakura_ame

Nothing pissed Kaoru off like technical difficulties in a foreign country and tonight had been full of them. It was their second show of the US tour and it started off with issues. Throughout the set, Die's amp and Toshiya's microphone both fucked up twice. By the end of the show, Kaoru was seething on the inside. As soon as it was over and they were backstage, he started barking rapid orders, demanding to know what the hell went wrong. Staff attempted explanations of this and that, but it didn't help. He ended up stalking around the dressing room, gathering his shit up with angry, jerky movements, snapping at anyone that came near him.

Die was honestly equally as pissed off... if not more so. Whenever things went wrong with his equipment, Die tended to blame himself. Something he had maybe missed or messed up during sound check, maybe a cord here or whatever there. And so, by the time Kaoru came around demanding explanations, Die had snapped at him, already finding his way into a bottle of Jack for the evening, making him all that much more aggressive toward the other man in the first place.

Things progressed through the next half an hour, the venue emptying out and staff starting to break down equipment. Die wandered around, towel over his head, something boiling deep in his gut. 

Brushing past Kaoru, he accidentally rammed his shoulder against the older man's own, though he didn't stop to apologize or even glance toward him.

Kaoru was on his way to the bar when Die rammed into him. He growled and turned around, grabbing the younger's shoulder. "Oi! Watch where the fuck you're going!"

Die jerked around toward him when Kaoru grabbed him, shoving his hand off. "How about you watch where the fuck you're going?!"

Kaoru snarled and caught Die's wrist, squeezing hard. "Don't fucking cop an attitude with me, Die." He shoved him back and moved to stalk off.

That was about the last second Die could contain anything that had been raging inside of him for the past few hours. The moment Kaoru shoved, Die retaliated, slamming Kaoru back against the wall, nearly tumbling them over one of the equipment boxes in the process, the landing against the stone wall harder than he'd anticipated, ending up crushed against Kaoru. One hand shoved into Kaoru's hair, the other holding his right wrist out away from their bodies. "Fuck you!"

Kaoru grunted as his back slammed hard into the wall, his hip catching the corner of one of their boxes. "Fuck! What the fucking shit?!" He growled and jerked his head away from Die's hand then grabbed the other by the front of his shirt and twisted around, changing their positions as he pushed Die against the wall instead, leaning in close. "Fuck _you_!"

Die lashed out as Kaoru changed their position, slapping Kaoru hard across the face, his fingers stinging from the brunt of it. He'd have punched him, but even in this state, he knew what was completely wrong and what wasn't.

Kaoru's eyes widened at the slap and every force inside of him knew that couldn't go without retaliation. He stepped in another inch, catching Die's spikey hair and pulling hard. He opened his mouth to spit out angry words but stopped short as his thigh came in contact with something rather firm that he knew was not Die's hipbone. He paused and leaned back half an inch to glance down between them then back up at Die, his face still a mask of anger though his eyebrows were arched in question.

The hand in his hair sent mixed reactions through his entire body and Die huffed out a pissed-off sound, his hand coming to grapple with Kaoru's in his hair, the combination of product keeping it spiked and the pull of the other's hand hurting like hell. And then Kaoru was right up in his personal space, his thigh somewhere it definitely shouldn't have been, and Die's back went rigid. The instant Kaoru looked, he knew he was completely doomed. "I hate you!" he spit out, venom in his voice that usually wasn't present, desperation spiking the situation with a terrible undertone.

Kaoru actually looked hurt at the words but he quickly covered it by schooling his face into a cold mask. He jerked his hand away and pushed back from Die, slamming him into the wall once more before turning to leave before he lost what tiny bit of control he had left.

Die saw the hurt flash across Kaoru's features and he instantly regretted it all. If there was anything Die hated in the world it was those moments in which he hurt someone like that. He held out his hand toward Kaoru, fingers curling as he breathed out a tiny, "Wait..."

Kaoru hesitated, his feet already pointed in the direction of the bar again. He debated for a few seconds then growled and turned back, crossing his arms over his chest. "What?," he bit out, frowning now more than glaring.

Die dropped his hand and then shook his head a little. "I'm..." he sighed, "never mind." With that, he pushed away from the wall and headed in the opposite direction of Kaoru, a frown on his face.

Kaoru groaned to himself, watching Die's retreating back. He knew he should let it go but there was more to that little scuffle than just anger and aggression. He knew what he felt when he pushed against Die like that and it didn't help that beneath it all, the idea had turned him on hard and fast. 

With another groan, he turned and followed after the guitarist, wondering vaguely if he should have hit the bar first. "Die...wait!"

For the first few steps, Die didn't wait. In fact, he sped up, fear fueling his steps forward, terror that he'd just crushed everything with words he hadn't meant to say... actions he hadn't meant to do. But after a few more steps, he finally came to a halt, not sure what else to do.

Kaoru caught up to Die then gestured uselessly for a moment before huffing and jerking his head to a small room off the dressing rooms. "In there..." He turned and stepped in, finding it to be a break room of sorts with a couch and coffee table as well as a counter with a microwave.

Die followed him in, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He hovered near the door, though he did nudge it closed with his elbow. "Look... I'm sorry, okay? I'm pissed off about how things went tonight and I just... sorry."

Kaoru stood there with his hands on his hips, staring Die down as he listened to his apology. "Fine. Whatever...but what the fuck was that a minute ago?"

"I told you... I'm sorry." Die gave Kaoru a helpless look. "I'm just mad. I lost control. I don't know what else to tell you."

Kaoru huffed and took a step forward, trapping Die between him and the door. "I don't mean that...I mean the fucking deer caught in the headlights look you got when I got too close."

Die backed up against the wall, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he stared at the other man. He knew... he knew far too much for his own good. Shame slid through him and he swallowed thickly, just shrugging again, not really knowing how to reply to any of it. Just beneath the surface came the desire to flee this situation before it got too far, and just behind it... anger at being put on the spot.

Kaoru's eyes narrowed and he slammed his hand on the wall next to Die's head. "Fucking say it, Die!" He knew exactly what was going on and his anger had backed off to give way to something else that had been boiling beneath the surface for far too long.

Kaoru's hand slamming against the wall was the last straw. Die's hand grabbed Kaoru's shirt and he yanked him hard against himself, lips crashing into the other guitarist's in a rather harsh manner. Teeth clinked against teeth as his tongue shoved violently into Kaoru's mouth, heedless of if this was something Kaoru wanted at all. He wanted to know... wanted to find out... then this was just the tip of the iceberg and he'd show him that at least.

Kaoru had not been expecting Die's actions in the least and they caught him so off guard that he froze in place for the first few seconds. His brain kicked back into gear soon enough though and he was taking over, his hand coming to clasp the back of Die's neck as he sucked on the younger's tongue a bit harshly.

It wasn't what he'd been expecting, that was for sure. Die had figured Kaoru would push him away, back off and freak out... something... anything... but not this. Not the other sucking on his tongue, not the way desire spiraled through him in white, hot tendrils. With a groan, he kissed him harder, near to the point of bruising, his free hand yanking Kaoru's hips closer to him, showing him how hard he was.

Kaoru groaned into the kiss and soon had his hand down, cupping Die's ass, grinding harshly against him, his own dick straining against the material of his pants. He knew this was a dangerous road, but right now, he needed it like he needed air to breathe.

Everything in Die told him to stop... that Kaoru couldn't have been thinking right to be doing this with him. But he craved it... he had for years and this wasn't something easy for him to back off on. With a groan, he shoved his hands into the other's back pockets, holding him in place while he rutted against him, eager to feel how hard Kaoru was becoming. If nothing else... he'd have this moment.

The older guitarist pulled away from the kiss finally only to bury his head against Die's neck, nipping the skin there lightly. Die's hands pulled him impossibly close and he moaned, humping against the other as best as he could, his cock hardening to the point of hurting. "Shit... Die."

Die held Kaoru's head against his neck, letting out tiny little moans as Kaoru sucked at his skin. He bit at his own lip and then finally breathed it out, "I need this..."

Die's words were really all Kaoru needed to hear for him to take it to the next level. He groaned and pulled back enough to attack Die's belt buckle, getting it undone and then unzipping his pants, freeing the other guitarist's cock. He took half a second to appreciate the size of it before wrapping his hand around him and giving him a few good strokes.

Something like shock filtered through Die as Kaoru opened his pants, pulling his cock free and starting to stroke him off. His hips jerked and he slid one hand up to push back into Kaoru's hair, a tiny whine leaving his lips. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on here, but he feared doing anything at all would change the course of this, disrupt whatever was making Kaoru touch him like this.

Kaoru jerked Die off for a minute then pulled back, licking his lips slowly. "All I have on me is a condom...," he told Die, shrugging slightly. He reached down to grope his own crotch, desperate to relieve some of the ache he was feeling.

Die stared at him for half a second and then pulled his wallet out. He extracted a small, rectangular plastic tube and handed it over without comment. Pushing his wallet back into his pocket, he slid to his knees and reached for Kaoru's pants, slowly starting to open them.

Kaoru licked his lips and took the lube, holding onto it for now. He shifted his stance as Die got to his knees, dick flexing inside his jeans at the very thought of what Die about to do.

Once Die had Kaoru's pants open, he slid the other's briefs out of the way, freeing his cock. He didn't touch it, but instead just leaned in and began to lap over the head of it, tongue flickering there.

The moment Die's tongue touched his cock, his head dropped back and he moaned, his hand going to rest on top of Die's head. "Oh fuck..."

Die let out a soft sound and then slipped down over Kaoru's length, his hand resting on the older man's hip as he bobbed his head, completely pleased with what he was doing right then. The future would hold whatever it did for them, but for right now, all he wanted to concentrate on was this.

Kaoru pushed his hips forward, finding Die to be very talented with his mouth. He groaned and petted at Die's hair, fingers curling slightly in stiff red locks.

Die blew him for a good five minutes before he grew impatient. Pulling back, he licked his cock-reddened lips, his hand wrapping around his own cock and jerking off for a few seconds while he stared up at Kaoru's faced.

Kaoru thoroughly enjoyed what Die was doing and briefly considered letting that be it, but he wanted more. He gazed down at the redhead then motioned to the couch. "Ride me."

For a few seconds, Die's heart flip-flopped and then he stood up, pursing his lips a little. He flicked the lock on the door and then pushed past Kaoru, going toward the couch. "You need to understand... I don't usually do this."

Kaoru peered at Die curiously as he stood to go to the couch, pushing his pants down more and then settling on it. "What do you mean exactly?"

Die's eyes flicked up to meet Kaoru's own and he sighed. "I normally stick my dick in someone's ass, not the other way around." He pulled his shirt over his head, putting it over the back of the couch and then began to take off his boots so he could get his pants down.

Kaoru blinked then let out a low laugh, reaching down to stroke his cock a few times. "I made the wrong assumption then...but either way..." He looked down at his dick then up to Die. "Think you can handle it?"

"Think I can handle it," Die scoffed as he tossed his pants on the couch and then shifted over Kaoru's lap. He left room for the other to work, drawing his hand down and pressing it up toward his inner thigh. "Prep me."

Kaoru snickered then grabbed the lube packet Die had given him, opening up and squirting nearly half of it on his fingers. He moved his hand between the guitarist's thighs and stroked over his entrance, smearing the lube around a good bit before pushing one finger in. As he began fingering him, he wrapped his free hand around Die's cock, jerking him off slowly.

Die hunched down over Kaoru, one hand shoved into the guitarist's hair, the other tugging lightly on his own nipples as he just waited on the other to do whatever he was going to do. When the finger pushed into him, he groaned, at least used to that feeling from his own escapades while jacking off.

Kaoru watched as Die touched his own nipples, finding that erotic as hell. He shifted forward and caught one bud between his lips as he pushed his second finger into Die, thrusting them into his body with a groan. He hoped Die adjusted easily because he was impatient right then and soon enough was fucking him with three fingers, hard and fast.

Die took what he was given like a champ, not complaining about it at all. He was too worked up to want anything else other than to actually be fucked right then. He pulled Kaoru's head against him while he sucked his nipple, definitely enjoying the sensation.

After a few more minutes, Kaoru pulled his hand away, figuring if Die needed any more, he could very well say so. He grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth, pulling it out and rolling it over his dick with a groan. After squirting the rest of the lube onto the head of his cock, he grasped Die's hips and looked up at him as he gently urged him downward.

Die watched Kaoru put the condom on. Once he was ready, he moved up over him a bit more, sliding down his body, reaching under himself and grasping Kaoru's dick to steady it as he started to push down on it. A few more seconds slid by as he pushed down on him, feeling warm and stretched as full as he could take it. Once he was fully seated, he looped one arm around Kaoru's neck, the other holding the back of the couch as he started to move, making odd little sounds since he wasn't used to this.

Once Die seated himself on his cock, Kaoru let out a groan of pleasure, his hands sliding up and down Die's thighs. "Gods...you're so fucking tight, Die."

A little laugh left Die as he kept moving. "That's because," he let out a soft grunt, "you're the second... cock to ever... be up my ass." He shoved down a bit harder and then stayed there, rocking his hips a bit.

Kaoru's eyes widened a bit at Die's confession, another groan slipping past his lips. He pushed upward, meeting Die's actions as well as he could. "Is that... nng... so?"

Die experimented with the position a little bit, finding he liked it when he moved just a certain way and then kept on doing it, just nodding a little in reply to Kaoru's question, pressed tightly up against Kaoru's chest while he rocked his hips.

Kaoru shifted around as Die did then settled into a rhythm that matched Die's. He let his hand stroke up Die's back, clawing the skin lightly as Die rocked on his cock, pulling low groans and grunts of pleasure from him.

It took Die a while longer, but he finally started to fuck himself a bit harder on Kaoru's dick. He picked up a short - but hard - pace, the soft slap of his skin making contact with Kaoru's body and the couch sounding in the room.

Kaoru pushed his hand up and into Die's hair, pulling him down to kiss him roughly as he pushed up into him. He quickly matched Die's pace, his other hand griping the other's hip, leaving claw marks.

Once Kaoru had him in a harsh kiss, Die gave as good as he got, dictating their movements, not allowing Kaoru to take over what they were doing despite how they were doing it. He grasped Kaoru's hand from his hip, shoving it down against his dick and hissing out, "Fuckin' touch my dick," into their kiss, starting to ride him harder.

A low growl slipped past Kaoru's lips at Die's command, though he did exactly as he bid. He wrapped his fingers around Die's cock and jerked him hard and fast, not bothering to match the pace in which Die was riding him.

Die didn't mind the alternate rhythm, quite enjoying it actually. He shoved his tongue into Kaoru's mouth, kissing him like he needed it to breathe, fucking like he required Kaoru's cock so he could live.

Kaoru was quickly reaching his end as they ramped things up. He kissed Die back fiercely, his hand a blur on his cock as he bucked up in him, his noises growing louder by the minute.

Die could feel how frantic Kaoru was growing, but he didn't want to end his own so soon, knowing he could get more satisfaction out of it if he just waited a little bit. He rode him harder, determined to help the older man cum.

It didn't take much longer for Kaoru to lose it. A few quick, short thrusts up into Die's body and then he was cumming, filling the latex barrier between them as he cried out Die's name.

Die stroked over Kaoru's hair, cradling the other against him as he let him ride out his orgasm, slowing down but never stopping moving. His lips moved to Kaoru's ear once he was sure he'd given him enough time to enjoy his orgasm. "Now I want you to finish me off... with that gorgeous mouth."

Kaoru shuddered as he came down off his orgasmic high, Die's touches making everything rather pleasant for him. Those sinful lips were soon pressed against his ear and he groaned at the request, nodding. "Mmm, gladly..."

Die reached down to hold the base of the condom, slowly pulling up off his dick and then shifting to stand for a moment. He slid onto the couch, laying back lengthwise over the cushions and leaving room for Kaoru between his legs. "C'mon then..."

Kaoru let Die slide off him, groaning as he did so. He quickly took care of pulling the condom off and tying it before tossing it in a trash can. Then he moved over to the couch and crawled between Die's legs, flicking his eyes up at him as he snaked his tongue out to taste the head of his cock. He didn't waste a lot of time teasing though and after he slicked Die up with a good bit of saliva, he took most of his length with a groan, starting to bob his head.

Die pushed his hand into Kaoru's hair, holding it back while he watched him suck him off. The sight of Kaoru's lips sliding down his dick made him tingle with excitement and he couldn't help the tiny cant of his hips each time Kaoru slid down his length. "So long," he breathed out, biting his lip just after with a groan.

Kaoru let his hand rest on Die's stomach as he sucked his cock. He gave a slight smirk and showed Die something he would never have guessed about him in a million years, taking Die's cock to the hilt without so much as flinching. He buried his nose in the neatly trimmed hair around the base of Die's dick, swallowing around him with a groan.

Die gasped when Kaoru took him completely in, his eyes not even tearing up. For a few seconds he just gaped down at Kaoru and then, finally, he threw his head back and groaned, arching up against him for a moment, his hand clamping in his hair. "I'm not gonna... oh fucking christ!" His free hand grabbed the edge of the couch and he thrust his hips up about a dozen times before he let out a soft cry and started to cum, keeping himself buried to the hilt so Kaoru didn't have to taste it since he hadn't pulled out.

Kaoru took it all, giving a low groan as he swallowed Die's cum. He lifted his head for the last bit, getting it on his tongue then sticking it out for Die's benefit before swallowing that as well and sitting back with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Die sort of collapsed back onto the couch once he'd cum, smirking as Kaoru showed him his cum on his tongue. He chuckled, pushing his hips up for a second, flexing his cock a few times before he relaxed again. Even as he started to soften, he just lay there, looking a bit distant.

Kaoru flopped back against the couch, breathing out a huff of breath, his hand resting on Die's thigh still. "Hng..."

Swallowing thickly, Die reached to put his hand over Kaoru's own, a soft smirk on his lips. "You just fucking swallowed my load."

Kaoru flicked his eyes to Die's hand and then to his face, smirking. "Yeah...and I just came in your ass, too...."

Die huffed out a laugh and then shrugged. "I imagined it for... close to forever... and not once did I imagine it like that." He gave Kaoru a serious look and then a slight apologetic look for the unprompted confession.

Kaoru laughed then sort of froze in place, his eyes finding Die's again. "....Seriously?"

The redhead gave a little nod. "Yeah... that's... god, Kaoru." He laughed. "You think I'd just fuck you randomly... or that my dick would be hard and I'd flip out like that for no reason?"

Kaoru gave Die an embarrassed sort of look. "To be honest, even though I knew or pretty much suspected that you were into guys at least partially...I never really considered myself as someone that would suit your fancy..." He paused then continued, his words hurried at this point. "Which is why I never really attempted... anything."

"Partially?" Die let out a laugh and shook his head. "All the way, buddy." He licked his lips a bit and then shifted to start getting his clothing back on. "As for my type... I like strong, aggressive men who can hold their own against me... my usual preference is someone who basically tops from the bottom so we can sort of fake argue it out in the sack. But... I dunno, it wasn't all that bad having your dick up my ass." He smirked and then winked to let him know he was being a dick, not actually downplaying what had happened.

Kaoru snorted softly then shifted, tugging Die's legs into his lap. "I usually top, period. With men or women..." He grinned at Die, lightly swatting his thigh. "Nice to know my dick up your ass was enjoyable to some degree...does this mean you'll let me do it again sometime?"

Die looked like he was having a hard time debating for a few moments and then laughed. "Yeah... sure... if you'll suck my dick again like that. Because that was fuckin' amazing."

Kaoru threw back his head and laughed. "It's a deal... and I might even let you fuck me." He winked then leaned over, catching Die in another kiss, this one slower, allowing him to savor the other's lips.

"Mmm... you know it wouldn't hurt too bad, baby. Long and thin... fits right in." He chuckled and then kissed Kaoru back, letting a pleased sigh leave his lips.

Kaoru let out a low chuckle, nipping Die's bottom lip. "I'm not...worried about it hurting. I'm no stranger to being stretched a bit..."

"Mmm... don't you dare get me riled up again or Nora will have our asses... we have to get out of here in like..." he glanced at his watch, "oh fuck, twenty minutes."

Kaoru smirked and then groaned as Die announced the time. "Ah fuck!" He sat back and pushed a hand through his hair. "Take the shower first...I'll go see where we are on being ready and shit." He gave a near pout at the idea of moving.

Die shook his head. "Nope. Nora's got it... c'mon, we can do this together real fast." He slipped to the door and peered out, then made his way quickly down the hallway, slipping into the tiny bathroom in the venue and turning on the shower tossing his clothing onto the bench.

Kaoru blinked then laughed, following Die into the bathroom. He stripped in record time and got into the shower, grunting at the small size. "It's a good thing we're Japanese... otherwise this wouldn't work."

Die chuckled as he followed him in, glad to find Nora had set out their little bottles of shampoo and conditioner and a bar of soap for them. He stepped under the spray and then grabbed the shampoo, quickly lathering up his hair, putting the bottle back for Kaoru and then picking up the soap.

Kaoru ducked under the spray to get his hair wet then followed Die in lathering up with the shampoo. He left it there and grabbed the soap, lathering up the washcloth and doing a quick wash over of his body before just turning and doing the same to Die.

Die leaned back to wash his hair out, smirking that Kaoru was washing his body. He let him, knowing it was a completely different experience and wanting to have it with Kaoru. Once he had rinsed his hair, he added conditioner, waiting on Kaoru.

Kaoru took care of make sure Die was squeaky clean then shifted around to rinse his own hair out. He grabbed up the conditioner and massaged it in with a groan before standing back, peering up at Die with a grin.

Leaning in, Die kissed Kaoru quickly and then flicked his tongue over his lips. "You're so screwed... you know that? Now that I know you don't mind that I want you... you're completely fucking fucked."

Kaoru blinked at the kiss then grinned, reaching out to run his hand down Die's chest. "Oh yeah? Is that a promise?"

"Mmmm... definitely." He tugged Kaoru against him and closed his eyes, letting the shower spray hit them both to rinse out the conditioner from their hair.

Kaoru hummed and let Die pull him close, enjoying it more than he was ready to even begin to admit. It had been a long time since he'd had anything more than a quick fuck.

Once Die'd rinsed his hair, he moved to do the same to Kaoru's, kissing him hard one last time before he stepped out of the shower and went to start putting clothing back on.

Kaoru made that last kiss worth it then made sure everything was rinsed before stepping out and drying off. He got redressed as well and moved to brush his teeth before pausing and tugging Die to him then quietly releasing him. "Time to be 'liida' again..." He slipped out, meeting with Nora in the hallway and discussing their last minute needs and whatnots, a definite bounce in his step.

Die knew the look Kaoru had... he'd seen it nearly thirty times over the years and it always meant he'd gotten laid. Now the question was if someone would put two and two together or not. Stepping out, he nearly ran smack into the girls that apparently the vocalist of their opening band and Toshiya had been entertaining, all three of them looking fairly well drained. He chuckled, bidding them goodnight and deeming his and Kaoru's secret safe with that.

Kaoru finally made his way onto the bus, waving at the few fans that had stuck around until the very end of the night. He just grinned at Toshiya, who looked pretty well laid himself then flopped down on the couch, cracking open a beer.

Die made his way out with the others, giving a little wave and hopping on the bus, which was already started and ready to leave. He moved to his bunk, crawling in and shucking his pants, grinning up at the ceiling as he thought of how much easier touring would be now.

The bus started off and Kaoru leaned back, leisurely sipping his beer, still unable to shake the grin on his face, even after Nora gave him an odd look. Sure, the show had had its issues but what happened after more than made up for them.

**The End**


End file.
